Your new phone Could send Neil To the moon And render A T-Rex You could learn Japanese Look up ‘quantum freeze’ Watch people Having sex It can answer Every question Access all Information Deepen your Obsession Worsen your Depression The touch Starts to slow The cracks Start to show You’re older Than you were When you bought Your new phone Your new phone Is old now Time to buy A new phone

I condemn racism, but… — I condemn racism, but I don’t know what it feels like. I don’t mean what it feels like to be a racist, to have experienced the circumstances — nurture over nature, always — that might turn a human into one, though I don’t know much about that either. What I…

This photo is what comes up when you search on Unsplash for ‘Successful Man.’ I’m not convinced this man looks very successful, but I’m willing to bet that he looks a lot like you, right now, sitting on your battered couch in your dingy living room, frowning at your laptop…

Continuing to make it up as we go along. — For various reasons, I’ve written nothing in the past year, but I can always rely on my daughter to provide new material. She’s 6 years old now, and I can confirm that the effort of parenting is in many ways already paying for itself (except financially). …

She talks sense into me. — My daughter is four and a half years old. About a year ago, I started writing down some of our conversations, because I have a taste for the absurd, and also to remind myself — later down the line — that I once almost had the upper hand. …

The hike to the lodge took two days. At noon on the first day, Jess received a text from her husband: ‘Hope you get loads done.’ His words rang as hollow as any of their exchanges over the past year. Shortly after receiving the message, her phone lost signal. The…

There is a plethora of greatest films lists out there, all of which are inherently subjective. But this list is different, because I have a degree in Film Studies. Now, in my experience, studying film was a total waste of time, but beyond that, it permanently rewired my brain in…

I keep my tickets. — So, as per the title, these are all the films I’ve seen at the cinema since 1995. I’ve been keeping my tickets since August of that year, after going to see Die Hard With A Vengeance with some friends of mine. Die Hard With A Vengeance isn’t a significant film…

David was in the shower when he thought he heard a noise downstairs. He turned the water off and stood still, trying to listen. It took several, long seconds for the shower to stop trickling and make way for silence, then David heard the noise again, and this time he…