Most of you will never know.

A brand new day.

At 6:30 am, you wake up to a hum of static from your radio alarm clock. For five seconds, maybe ten, you’re content. Then you remember you don’t work for a tech company.

In the shower, you tackle the first chore of the day. Neither of you are into it, so it takes a while, but eventually it releases its pittance. Then you wash your body and hair with Lynx Apollo.

Wearing one of your several half-wool/half-polyester navy suits, you eat a bowl of Fruit n’ Fiber and wash it down with a glass of made-from-concentrate orange juice — you…

I condemn racism, but…

A grey area.

I condemn racism, but I don’t know what it feels like. I don’t mean what it feels like to be a racist, to have experienced the circumstances — nurture over nature, always — that might turn a human into one, though I don’t know much about that either. What I mean is I don’t know what it feels like to be subjected to racism. I truly have no idea.

I’m white, in case that wasn’t clear, so first off I’d like to get my white privilege out of the way. Or, in other words, exercise my white privilege.

Writing this…

Photo by Andrew Neel on Unsplash.

This photo is what comes up when you search on Unsplash for ‘Successful Man.’ I’m not convinced this man looks very successful, but I’m willing to bet that he looks a lot like you, right now, sitting on your battered couch in your dingy living room, frowning at your laptop as you read this article, waiting to learn the one thing you’ve been wanting to learn all your life.

This is an important article. You can tell because the title is repeated just below. Look:

The One Difference Between You And Someone Richer Than You.

I know what you’re thinking.

Continuing to make it up as we go along.

For various reasons, I’ve written nothing in the past year, but I can always rely on my daughter to provide new material. She’s 6 years old now, and I can confirm that the effort of parenting is in many ways already paying for itself (except financially). The transition from toddler tentatively figuring out their surroundings to teenager stomping down the hallway and slamming doors has come sooner than expected, so I’m unsure as to where we’re headed next, but I’ll soon find out, seeing as I have no choice.

Following on from Vol. 1, here are a few more of…

She talks sense into me.

My daughter is four and a half years old. About a year ago, I started writing down some of our conversations, because I have a taste for the absurd, and also to remind myself — later down the line — that I once almost had the upper hand. Here are a few of the things we’ve said to each other, in chronological order.

Bees Throwing Humans Into A Pond (as named by the artist) — Marilyn, age 3.5

[walking home from school]
Me: What did you have for lunch today?
Marilyn: Fish fingers.
Me: Right, so I won’t give you fish fingers for dinner.
Marilyn: No I had lasagna.
Me: You said you had lasagna yesterday.
Marilyn: I had pasta.
Me: Tell…

The hike to the lodge took two days. At noon on the first day, Jess received a text from her husband: ‘Hope you get loads done.’ His words rang as hollow as any of their exchanges over the past year. Shortly after receiving the message, her phone lost signal. The occasional hikers she crossed paths with thinned out, and by the time she decided to set up camp for the night, she hadn’t seen anyone in hours. She pitched her tent in a recess at the foot of a cliff, hoping it would shield her from the wind. It didn’t…

There is a plethora of greatest films lists out there, all of which are inherently subjective. But this list is different, because I have a degree in Film Studies.

Now, in my experience, studying film was a total waste of time, but beyond that, it permanently rewired my brain in such a way that films cannot simply be enjoyed anymore; they must be analysed, critiqued, dissected, intellectualised. Sure, this can be a blessing — passionate discourse on Neoformalism, Auteur Theory and The Male Gaze will liven up any dinner party and can imbue a certain sexual magnetism when deployed at…

I keep my tickets.

So, as per the title, these are all the films I’ve seen at the cinema since 1995. I’ve been keeping my tickets since August of that year, after going to see Die Hard With A Vengeance with some friends of mine. Die Hard With A Vengeance isn’t a significant film, other than it being the first film which I kept the ticket for. I’m not saying Die Hard With A Vengeance is forgettable or insignificant in itself. As a film it’s fine, as I recall, and probably the second best film in the Die Hard franchise, although I’ll admit I…

David was in the shower when he thought he heard a noise downstairs. He turned the water off and stood still, trying to listen. It took several, long seconds for the shower to stop trickling and make way for silence, then David heard the noise again, and this time he was certain—a door had closed. Someone was in the house.

His pulse quickened. As quietly as he could, he slid the shower curtain along its plastic rail and stepped out of the bathtub, onto the cold chequered tiles. He grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist, and as…

Gregory Lusted

Not as depicted.

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